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Same-Sex Weddings
A Guide to Same Sex
Marriage
While love possesses no
boundaries, the judicial system is known to pass judgment on the social,
religious, and government perspective of marriage. A same-sex marriage
is the union of two individuals that are of the same sex, who intend on
living with one another as a family.
Currently, the United
States will only recognize the union of one man and one woman, but there
are some states that bend the rules concerning same-sex matrimony, such
as Massachusetts.
An Example of a
Same-Sex Commitment Ceremony
Since a same-sex marriage is not considered a legal gesture, a civil
servant is not involved in the process. Instead, a judge, justice of
the peace, or an Ethical humanist officiant often performs the ceremony.
Since the law is not involved, a license is not needed;
therefore, close friends or relatives may also carry out the event.
Sometimes, a same-sex couple desires a religious ceremony, in
which case, either partner may contact the head of their congregation
for support. When this is not possible, Unitarian Universalist,
Universal Life, or Metropolitan Community churches all back same-sex
unions.
A same-sex marriage does not involve a legal document; therefore, the
ceremony serves as a binding rite. For some, the process of planning and
performing a sex-sex union will follow some of the same paths that a
traditional wedding takes. An officiant will say a few words regarding
the commitment and love shared between the couple. A declaration of
intent or pre-written vows may follow, which may include poems, songs,
prose, or speaking from the heart.
Next, the exchanging of rings may take place. Rings are often placed on
the right hand, which purposefully symbolizes the opposite of a
traditional wedding. Readings or joining rituals are also a part of a
commitment ceremony, as the couples speak upon important topics, such as
love, familiarity, companionship, and trust. A common joining ritual is
the lighting of a Unity candle, which symbolizes one flame to represent
two people. The final pronouncement of a same-sex marriage comes in the
form of a kiss, which follows the majority of traditional matrimonial
ceremonies.
Common Concerns
When couples face a same-sex marriage, there will always be a few
concerns in regards to the way a commitment ceremony is
planned, especially when trying to follow a more traditional wedding
approach. Some partners wonder how the selection of the bridal party
should be arranged. This option is left up to the couple, who may select
an assortment of family and friends that doesn’t necessarily follow
traditional gender rules. Two best men or two maids of honor are not
uncommon. Some couples will refer to their entourage as "honor
attendants," while many completely disregard the notion of attendants.
In regards to the pronouncement of the union, the issue of gender
becomes a tricky obstacle to overcome. Many commitment
ceremonies have refrained from using the title of "husband and wife" and
instead choose a phrase, such as "partners for life" or
something along these lines.
After the same-sex marriage has taken place, the issue of changing names
may arise. There are many different ways to approach this
issue that includes picking one last name to represent both partners;
hyphenating last names that both partners will then take; or coming up
with a completely different last name that both partners will accept as
their own.
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