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The Wedding Guest List
Who's
Invited?
If you have an
established budget and have booked the location for the ceremony and the
reception, this can help serve as a guide. You know these locations can
only hold a certain number of people.
You can let the parents
know that there are only a certain number of people that can be invited.
Divide the number so that you and the groom (it is your wedding, after
all) are in complete control of half the guest list. Divide the other
half in half again for each set of parents. This should be fair and
adequate.
With the half that you and the groom are deciding on, you can have part
of it for mutual friends and each have a certain number that you can
have your own choice with. When you have your lists done, compare so you
can eliminate duplications.
When the parents have their lists done, compare with theirs to make sure
there are not duplicates there, as well. If everyone
understands that there is only so much room available and can stick to
the number they can invite, it should go smoothly. If there are any
problems, sit done together and work out a fair resolution.
One of the first things that should be decided before any of the lists
are made up is whether you want to allow children. Families bringing
children can have an effect of how many guest each person can invite.
If there are any ex spouses, you will want to be careful about inviting
them. If either you or your groom were married before, it is usually
best not to invite the ex spouse. But if you both have a good
relationship with the ex, go ahead and invite him or her. For parents
with ex spouses, it will depend on whether the ex is a parent to one of
you. They should be included if at all possible. Special seating
arrangements might be needed to help ease any tensions.
There are bound to be relatives that your parents want to invite that
you don't really even know or have perhaps not gotten along with. You do
want to be sure they are not invited at the expense of eliminating
someone from the list you do want to come to your wedding. Should a
situation like this occur, sit down and discuss it with everyone to
reach a resolution. Be willing to compromise to a degree, but
remember it is your wedding.
Though you can't completely please everyone, you should be able to
decide on a fairly equitable wedding guest list that will be acceptable
to everyone. Those who don't make the cut can receive a very nice
wedding announcement instead.
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