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Writing
Your Own Wedding Vows
Getting Started
When you are getting started with your wedding vows, the first thing you
will want to do is talk to the person who will be officiating at
your wedding. You need to make sure that having your own vows will be
permissible. Some priests or ministers may not want to let you
use your own vows, and even if they do, they will probably want to look
over them some time before the wedding actually occurs. Once
you have permission, then you can go on in the process of writing your
own wedding vows.
Next of all, you will want to talk this over with your fiancé to make
sure that it is okay with him or her. You want to be sure that you both
are on the same wavelength and also, you may want to write your vows
together. Whether or not you decide to write them together or
separately, you will want to have an outline that you can both use to
make sure that your vows are at least somewhat similar in nature
and tone. You may also want to decide whether you want deep romantic
vows, or whether you want to make your vows lighter with a bit of humor.
Answer a Few Questions
Once you decide on the basics, you may find yourself at a loss for what
to write in your vows. In order to break the writer’s block and
come up with some beautiful vows, there are a number of important
questions that you can ask yourself. Then consider your answers for
some help with your vows.
1. How did you meet and how did you feel when you met?
2. When and where did you finally realize it was true love?
3. How has your love changed and what characteristics make you
love your fiancé?
4. What is different in your life and how you view it because of
your fiancé?
5. Where do you see your lives together going?
6. Do you have specific parts of traditional vows that you love
and appreciate?
7. Are there any specific events that made you realize how
wonderful your fiancé is?
8. How are you inspired by your fiancé?
9. What promises do you want to make to your fiancé?
10. What are you looking forward to after you are married?
Final Tips to Remember
Writing your vows will probably take you a great deal of time, so it is
important that you make sure that you start well before your
wedding day. No one wants to be sitting up the night before the wedding
trying to figure out what to say the next day for their vows.
When you are writing your vows, it is also important that you remember
to avoid making them too long. While you want to be sure that you
communicate your love and devotion in your vows, you want to avoid
having vows that seem to last forever. Vows that are shorter and to the
point will be more well received.
You should also remember that you can freely borrow things from other
people for your vows. If you want to use lines from songs,
poems, movies, or even the vows you heard at another wedding, you should
feel free to do so. Not everything needs to be original in
your vows; however, they should be heartfelt and avoid clichés. Also be
sure that your vows are easily understood by those attending
your wedding. Your vows are not the place to use references that only
you and your fiancé will understand.
On the big day, you will want to make sure that the person officiating
has a copy of the vows, both for their benefit and yours. Even if
you memorized them, you never know when stress will make your mind go
blank. Also make sure that you take the time to practice
saying your vows at your wedding rehearsal. Finally, on your big day,
look into your fiancé’s eyes and say the vows from your heart, and no
doubt, they will be words that you both will remember for the rest of
your lives.
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